Speaking My Mind

Life~

The 201st post. I need to get this off my mind. I don't know how true this is but I have a feeling that people are too quick to judge me, negatively. They don't know the entire story and all they are interested is, just one small part of a story. For that, I believe my name is tainted. No one is interested in my story. For that, I believe people are drifting away from me.

At first, I told myself that things like this will happen eventually, everyone leaves. I try to not be bothered but lately I realize that its really hard. Friends that were once so close, now would think twice before talking to me. Its saddening but I guess its just something that pushes me to go the extra mile. I love Penang but this place just doesn't feel like home anymore. Everywhere I go and everyone I meet, I feel like I'm being judged. I need to leave this place. I hope I can. I am tired of wanting people to stay on my side, to be honest I wouldn't need to do much if I had real friends.

I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe cuz I was never there for my friends? Or maybe cuz I cared too much? I don't know. Whatever I have been doing in the past 3-5 years, I think I should just stop cuz it has brought me nothing but lies and deceit.

cyen/tristan