Old Habits Die Hard

Life~

I know i know, its been a while since I've been really sad over something. But I don't think this is that sad. Well, I am not that sad, I think its more to being disappointed to myself. Regrets maybe? Yeah, that sort of thing. But still, a bit sad I suppose. Haha.

I think it is fair to say that, for all my life(at least 20 years of it so far), I have only truly REALLY liked a girl (bar that b*tch, she doesn't count! haha!). Yup, it was waaaaay back when I was still a lil punk. Well, not much of a punk but I'd like to see myself like that? haha. But before I continue, I would really like to apologize to all the girls that I have claimed to have 'liked', cuz I don't think I had truly liked you? haha. Okay, that sounds a bit mean and quite desperate I have to say. But eh, this is my blog so I get to say what I want! heh.

So yeah anyway. Regrets! No one, have been so nice to me and I really mean this. She was nice to me right from the start but I took her for granted. So many years, so many times I just 'disappeared" without a trace. I come back again occasionally...yeah, thats the problem. I know I shouldn't have done that.

Okay, back to being nice to me. Whenever I screw up, shes there for me. Whenever I get in a mess, shes there to tell me its alright. When I get really ticked off by someone, she tells me to forgive them. When I was down, she always know what to do to make me laugh (not so true tho, cuz I am always the one making her laugh. =P). Haha, but you get my point.

But later on, I was blinded, fooled, tricked, dummied into the worst decision of my life. WHICH i will not talk about. Haha, but I messed up, big time. But then she still forgave me after all that. But I don't think I can truly forgive myself for that. Yes yes, I dwell in the past. Who doesn't? Haha.

So now, what happens now? I really don't know. Back to square one. I am hitting the reset button! I am certainly not putting my hopes up or anything but I think, its always worth a shot. =)

cyen/tristan