Hey Hey

Life~

Ah, its good to be back and speaking me mind again. To be honest, I speak my mind all the time and the thought of actually putting it down in words can be quite troublesome, so yeah I was just lazy. XD

Anyways, a lot has happened in the past months or so. Don't really know where to begin but to keep it short, its been rather satisfying. Not exciting but still satisfying.

Ah, assignments, tutorials and classes are a real pain. Finals is coming and I guess thats one thing to look forward to. Haha, i mean the post-finals days. THAT is one thing to look forward to.

So yeah, I think this is it for now. Gonna go grab some dinner naw. Cheers.

cyen/tristan

Stop! In The Name of Love!

Life~

Haha, yes I just watched episode 6 of Glee, so that answers the question to why I used this title for this post. Haha. Its not just for fun because what I am about to write about of course involves a bit of loooove. Lol, so you are warned. If you do not wish to continue, u may close this window or tab now because there isn't much about anything else.

From my last post, I think it is quite clear that I really have feelings for this girl but after some unforseen circumstances(Not really), I need to rethink my strategy and plans because I might not(ever) reach my goal. Sad as it may be, I think it is only fair that things would turn out this way today. But whatever happens next, I will not rush into anything because I am just not that kinda guy. Uh, I guess thats the main reason why I have such a miserable life. If only I could just 'let loose' and go wild. Lol, but I sadly I can't, I would be too weirded out if I do.

At the end of the day, I go back to square one again but one thing is for sure, I will never forget this girl and I still have forever to live. I do hope everything would turn out well in the future. =( I hope.

cyen/tristan

Old Habits Die Hard

Life~

I know i know, its been a while since I've been really sad over something. But I don't think this is that sad. Well, I am not that sad, I think its more to being disappointed to myself. Regrets maybe? Yeah, that sort of thing. But still, a bit sad I suppose. Haha.

I think it is fair to say that, for all my life(at least 20 years of it so far), I have only truly REALLY liked a girl (bar that b*tch, she doesn't count! haha!). Yup, it was waaaaay back when I was still a lil punk. Well, not much of a punk but I'd like to see myself like that? haha. But before I continue, I would really like to apologize to all the girls that I have claimed to have 'liked', cuz I don't think I had truly liked you? haha. Okay, that sounds a bit mean and quite desperate I have to say. But eh, this is my blog so I get to say what I want! heh.

So yeah anyway. Regrets! No one, have been so nice to me and I really mean this. She was nice to me right from the start but I took her for granted. So many years, so many times I just 'disappeared" without a trace. I come back again occasionally...yeah, thats the problem. I know I shouldn't have done that.

Okay, back to being nice to me. Whenever I screw up, shes there for me. Whenever I get in a mess, shes there to tell me its alright. When I get really ticked off by someone, she tells me to forgive them. When I was down, she always know what to do to make me laugh (not so true tho, cuz I am always the one making her laugh. =P). Haha, but you get my point.

But later on, I was blinded, fooled, tricked, dummied into the worst decision of my life. WHICH i will not talk about. Haha, but I messed up, big time. But then she still forgave me after all that. But I don't think I can truly forgive myself for that. Yes yes, I dwell in the past. Who doesn't? Haha.

So now, what happens now? I really don't know. Back to square one. I am hitting the reset button! I am certainly not putting my hopes up or anything but I think, its always worth a shot. =)

cyen/tristan

University and Spurs

Life/Football~

So for those who are still unclear of my whereabouts, I am currently studying in University Kebangsaan Malaysia, or in English, National University of Malaysia. Have to admit, at first going there was not as glamorous as many would think. Well, its not. However, it is not that bad. Well, its bad at first. Haha. Okay, I need to stop doing that.

Its bad but then again, there are some positives from the whole place. Before I went, I had the impression that people here would be rather, err..traditional? thinking-wise I suppose. But I was wrong cause I got to know many really cool people. Well of course there are those that are rather quite traditional but yeah, its nicely balanced.

The thought of me not getting to go to Singapore to attend the National University of Singapore still hurts but that window of opportunity is now tightly shut so I should do like what all sane human beings would do, and just get on with life. I for one would know a lot bout what would happen if we dwell in the past, so I'm so not gonna do that again.

So yeah, UKM isn't that bad. My faculty is rather small but the people there are friendly. But then again, there will always be those who are a little 'kiasu', ah when I say a little, I actually mean a lot. Haha. Sucks lah to have such people in the faculty. Its not actually a bad thing cause it builds awareness among the students but really these people also build loadsa amounts of guilt in the more laid back students like me. Haha. I wouldn't want to mention names lah, but for now there are just a few of this 'kiasu' people. Why do I say 'just for now'? Well, I believe as the finals come closer, there will be more people like that. Haha. I personally don't think I am a brilliant student and no this is not a sign of me giving up. I am not a quitter and I don't give up but I do not see why I should be competing with this people as my goal is to just to graduate. Sad to say, I do not think Law is my calling and I still believe that I would shine in the future, 1st class honors or not.

As for my friends here in UKM, I think they are really awesome. Dependable, yeah of course. Funny, totally. Random, not so much but some of us can be really random at times. Haha. Its been more than 4 months I think? and so far I do hope we could finish the 4 years together. I wouldn't wanna do my 4 years with anybody else other than this guys. Well, some of them might be a little extreme when it comes to studies but ah, its Law, I won't blame them. I was never an over-achiever so I will need to adapt I suppose. But then again, I love them nonetheless! =)

OKAY, Serious business! TOTTENHAM! if you're not interested, stop reading now!

COME ON YOU SPURS!

I hate it when I don't get to watch my team player. HATE IT SO MUCH. I've always had this feeling that, whenever I don't get to watch them play, they would lose. And that has almost happened on a few occasions. In fact, it happened against Wigan and West Ham already. Horrible. I am the 12th man and I will always be my team's 12th man. I need to watch them play and UKM's connection just cant take it! Aargh.

But anyways, Rafael Van Der Vaart! I mean 8 million pounds? Wow, a steal if you ask me. United fans, eat your heart out! Haha. He is absolutely brilliant. Whenever he plays, the whole team wants to play. No offense to the entire squad but I think right now he is the best and is making the likes of Jenas and Lennon look like rookies. So yeah, back to my point, when he plays, everyone plays and when they play, they would play better because they know every second they spend slacking off, they know they are an inch closer to losing their place in the first eleven. This season is going to be awesome, I know it and it sucks to not get to see them climb the table! I cannot wait to get back to Penang where I will never miss a game!

And oh yeah, theres been news bout Manchester United and Real Madrid going for Gareth Bale? What nonsense. No offense to United but I think the years they spent stealing Spurs players are over. Carrick, Berbatov. If we hadn't sold them Spurs would have been a recognized force much earlier. I have said it before and I will say it again; Spurs are now at the same par as United. I know that don't really mean much because Spurs should be at the same par as Chelsea and not a team that has problems scoring against mid table sides. But thats the fact, Spurs can't win games against teams like Wigan and West Ham just like how United can finish the game against Sunderland and Bolton. Haha. So yeah, this season I cannot wait for Spurs to meet United. We have beaten Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea in the past few seasons but never United. That day will come and I know its coming nearer and nearer.

Spurs til the day I die! COYS!

cyen/tristan

A Break Finally

Life~

Finally, a break after 2 months away from home. It's pretty bad at first, when all the homesickness kicks in but after a while, I just got really used to it. Well maybe because I have really awesome friends in UKM. The course, well it isn't very interesting but uhh..I sure hope that spark of interest kicks in soon. Lecturers are okay tho, but then again, there are always one or two that would always send shivers down your spine. Interesting nonetheless.

Well, actually I was back almost a week ago but I was just too lazy to update this thing. Ah, I am always lazy to update this thing. Lol. Mainly cuz I really have nothing much to write about. I am still the same I guess. Still loves football and computer games. Still single and bored. Why doesn't anything interesting ever happen. Why do I always have to look at the same few old and boring faces. =/

Okay, I am really not into blogging at the moment. See yah.

cyen/tristan

Spurs

Tottenham is in my heart and in my blood.

For years, people have laughed at the idea of supporting a team outside the so called 'big four'. People chose glory over passion. I chose the latter. Being a Spurs fan is all about being passionate. We have had to endure years in the dark. People would make fun of us but we stood strong and pushed on. Managers and players came and go but as time went on, no one seemed right for the job.

But in Season 2009/2010, we proved everyone wrong. Right from the start, we took out Liverpool. We topped the table for at least 2 weeks. Despite losing the number one spot to United, we were never far behind. We were top four for a long period in that season. But after a while, the premiership was all about Chelsea and United. Being Spurs fans, we were realistic and kept our eyes on Europe. We wanted the Champions League, the players wanted it too and I am sure 'arry was pretty much very keen on it too.

We had to fight off challenges from the likes of Aston Villa, Manchester City, Everton and Liverpool. Being in the 'big four' for so long, Liverpool were favorites but as underdogs, Spurs had the advantage. No one saw it coming. in the final few weeks, everything was going Manchester City's way. We had Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester City in almost back to back games. Everyone expected us to lose our focus and drop out of the race for fourth place.

Lucky for us, in THAT final few weeks, Roman Pavlyuchenko, Gareth Bale and David Bentley were suddenly in a surge of form. Pav scored so many crucial goals, Bale single handedly destroyed Chelsea and Arsenal in White Hart Lane while David Bentley's crosses were turning into gold, or in football, goals.

And not to mention Heurelho Gomes, who was a joke in his early days in Tottenham, but in season 09/10, he was arguably the best keeper in the Premier League. I dare say that he is better than Petr Cech and Edwin Van der Sar.

Battle for fourth. It was inevitable, Spurs was going to fight til the end. Manchester City was going to buy their way through. Everyone was behind Spurs that night. Everyone kept their fingers crossed and when the whistle was blown for the start of the game in the Stadium of Manchester, the entire world watched. It was like the forces of good going head to head against the forces of evil. Hardwork against Buying Power.

It was THE game to watch for all Spurs and City fans.

Both keepers knew what they had to do and the other 20 players wanted their names to go into history.

Both managers were on their toes.

And as for the fans, we just held out breath.

Minutes before the game was about to come to an end.

Younes Kaboul capitalized on Bellemy's mistake.

Cuts into the left side of Manchester City.

Whips in a cross.

Fulop pushes the ball out.

Crouch was first on the rebound.

He heads it.

GOOOAAALL!!!!

Crouch sends the Spurs fans into raptures!

When the ball went past Fulop, everyone knew. We were on our way. We were going to be in the big league. Our days in the dark are over. We will finally get the recognition we deserved.

But, that is if we don't do an 'Everton". Haha.



COME ON YOU SPURS! TIL THE DAY I DIE!

cyen/tristan

Settled In

Life~

A while ago, I had trouble deciding weather if I should stay local or leave the country. A week ago, I took the option of Law, that meant I am now studying at UKM, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia or National University of Malaysia.

Well, before going was pretty bad. I didn't know what I was going to expect but I suppose that is normal. However, because of the experience I have in NS, National Service, I kept having flashbacks of how bad the first couple of weeks were back in Perlis. I had sleepless nights and when I was at Penang International Airport, I was so sad. I did not want to leave my comfort zone for another NS experience.

The first few days were bad, because I still had doubts about my stay in UKM. My mind still wandered away to Singapore and I would occasionally think about my prospects in Singapore. Realistically, UKM offers a much better future but going to NUS was just glamorous.

So anyways, back to the thought of UKM being like NS, how wrong I was.

Its nothing like NS. Everyone here are like super nice. Young or old, everyone seem to be better than what I had expected. The place looks pretty awesome too. Despite having buildings that would belong at the set of "Back to the Future", the awesome facilities, teaching staff, seniors and studying environment totally made up for it.

I cannot say I totally love it here in UKM but its not that bad. Law, on the other hand is a pain in the ass. My days are so packed while my friends here in UKM still look like they have yet to enter a class. For me, in the past 2 days, I have already got into a total of almost 18 hours of lecture. Its not much of a lecture, more to introduction but still it was draining.

So anyways, yeah. UKM it is. I will learn to love it more but it has been a fun experience so far. The people here are REALLY nice. The food here gives me sore throat but other than that, its fine. Haha.

cyen/tristan.

What Now?

Life~

I am offered a place in UKM, for Law. UKM being Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. When I applied for local, I never thought I would be getting it. In fact, I had already forgotten all about it as I had already set my mind on Singapore. So what now?

Many would say that there isn't much of a choice there. I mean come on, Malaysia or Singapore. People would jump at the Singapore choice at the very sight of it but take a minute and think again. We definitely cannot compare the quality of education. People might say Singapore offers much more than local but however bad local might be, I am sure it is not totally hopeless. Sure the facilities might look a bit worn out and old, but it is technically closer to home and yes, I've checked the fees. It is dirt cheap.

But on the other hand, Singapore offers exposure and a better studying environment. I cannot see how anyone can turn Singapore down and to make things even more irresistible, we are talking about NUS. Studying in Singapore would expose me to so much more. I will be able to meet so many new people. Job opportunities would range from Singapore to anywhere I set my mind to. I might be a dreamer but I think I would stand a better chance if I studied away from Malaysia.

However tasty Singapore might sound, there is a price to pay to all this, and I mean literally. The fees are not cheap. Sure I will have to work hard but even if I continue my studies locally, I would have to work equally as hard. And once again, its NUS we are talking about. There is bound to be challenges and we all know how high the level of competition I will have to face. As for UKM, I am pretty sure the level of competition is not as high as NUS but still competitive nonetheless.

At the end of it all, it falls down to me and me alone. When I was doing my form 6, I only had one goal in mind, NUS. Now that I have it, I am glad but when u throw in UKM Law into the equation, everything changes. What should I do now? NUS looks like the clear and smarter choice but when you look at the details, UKM would be the cheaper and wiser alternative. The only problem in UKM would be, will I regret later on? because I know, I will not regret going to NUS, I've wanted to go even before I entered form 6.

So where do I go from here, what now?

cyen/tristan

Football Frenzy!

Football~

So the season ends and the World Cup is approaching. So whats next for me? Well, my heart still beats hard for Spurs and forever will be but it sure is a bit unusual and frustrating for all Spurs fans these days. Every other post season, we would be linked with like every single player there is but now, we are just not used to how quiet the rumors has become. Haha. Its not a bad thing but now all we want is for ol 'Arry to make a move. Everyone is shouting, "Get Dzeko in!" or "Snap Cole on a free transfer now!"

Joe Cole

I've heard it all. Everyday I read the papers and none, no news bout Spurs at all. Haha. But on the positive note, we made two very important signings so far. We managed to get Gareth Bale and Luka Modric to pen down a few more years for the club. That would fend off teams like Manchester United and AC Milan. For the first time, I am not afraid bout what Sir Alex of Manchester United has to say. Before the previous season, whenever Sir Alex declared interest on a Spurs player, he would get it. But not this time. From what I can see, Spurs are now at the same level as Manchester United. We can offer our players what they can as well. We are a club moving forward and not a selling club, well not anymore.

Okay, back to the transfers. First of all, I am going to list down the players that will NOT leave the club despite being linked away from the club. Roman Pavlychenko will not leave. David Bentley will not leave as well. As for the ones that I am unsure of, Robbie Keane, Jermaine Jenas and Alan Hutton. I'd love for Hutton to stay but as for Keano and JJ, I think they will have to move on. However I doubt JJ will move. Don't ask why, I just have a hunch that he wont. As for Gio dos Santos, I think it all depends on how he performs in the World Cup but high chance is that he is gonna leave but I do hope he stays.

As for the players coming in. Well this is a tricky one. We all know that Sandro Ranieri is coming in already. The young Brazillian from Internacional. As for Edin Dzeko, I have high hopes for the Bosnian. I really hope he comes. Joe Cole, a good signing for any team and to get him for free will be the best deal there is. I have a feeling Cole has already signed for Spurs. I think its a done deal already, he will prolly be unveiled after the World Cup.

Edin Dzeko

Okay, theres also rumors that Huntelaar might jump ship from AC to north London but thats not gonna happen after he dashed it all away yesterday. Apparently he still has something to prove in Milan so, fair play to him. Who else did I miss out? There are a few youngsters linked but I think its fair to say that Spurs don't need youngsters at the moment.

So my wishlist is this: Edin Dzeko comes and Roman Pavlyuchenko don't leave. Thats all.

cyen/tristan

The Critical Piece

Life~

Okay lets see. I am a bit down today I suppose. Really, I think I shouldn't be but still I am. Haha. But its not so bad. Its not the type of sadness where you want to slit your wrist. Its more of the "why was I not invited" kind of sadness. Yeah.

I once hung out with this group of really amazing individuals. Why do I say individuals? Its cause we all had our own sense of belief, style and laugh; yea laugh, don't you hate it when someone laughs like you? F*cking annoying really. Haha, yeah they were really some amazing people. Back then, it was just us guys hanging out at ma place. Just chilling and all but things got more complicated later on.

We went out separate ways later on but whenever we are near, we would find a chance to hang out. Well that was quite a long while ago. Now, they have new friends so I guess they don't need me anymore. But sometimes, when he, wait..I mean when they come back, they would say things like "Hey! I'm back! We should like hang out!" or "Come! We should go Bak Kut Teh! Just the three of us!". But whenever I asked weather they were free or not, they would say they aren't. At first I would ask why and what they were busy with but later on, I was just not bothered anymore cuz they are always not free. Funny thing is, they have no time to hang out with me but still they had time to hang out with their other friends. Cool huh? If you ask me, I think they don't like me. Haha, call that a hunch but I've had that feeling for a while now. So yeah, why was I not invited! But then again, even if I am invited now, I wouldn't be interested just because I don't know them anymore. As far as I know, the friends I knew back in high school, died a long time ago.

I am not trying to be rude or insulting with what I say but its just plain facts. To be really honest, I have already accepted the fact that I lost most of my friends a while ago now, but I guess the reason why I always write things like this is cause a small part of me still hopes that I get back my old friends. I really don't like finding new friends. But every time I think bout it, it hits me every time, reminding me that they will never be who they were. Sad.

More reason why I should leave for Singapore. The silent treatment I am getting is starting to get on my nerves so yeah, I want to leave as soon as I can. They are trying to get rid of me anyways. I hope you guys are happy. Pretty sure you guys will be. Always busy drinking and doing fucked up things. Haha, ignore the profanity, just a sign of jealousy of and anger of being left out.

But on a positive note, people like them make me want to better myself. I don't see how I can ever think of them as the same anymore. So, with that said, I will always want to be better and make them regret for pushing me away, unlikely I know but its worth a shot. I've got nothing to lose. After all, everything is okay if they get to hang out with girls.

But all is not lost. Out of the maybe 10 friends, there are still a few that are good and have realized how messed up the rest turned out to be and decided to stay away from them. All this while, I actually waited and waited. Waiting for the day where I get to hang out with them again. Now I need to realize that I am now made an outcast and must move on. They were such great friends but sadly we have to part eventually. Its not gonna be easy, just like what Chris Martin said in "The Scientist", the chorus; "Nobody said it was easy. Oh, its such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy. Oh, its such a shame for us to part. I'm going back to the start."

So yeah, back to the start. An end calls for new beginnings. Cheers!

cyen/tristan - please remember I do not care what you think. Lol.

Rest Easy

Life/Football~

In my previous post, it was clear that I was not in a happy mood but I think it is fair to say that, life still goes on. I was asked to let it go and forget what had happened. It is hard but I will do my best, after all, we can never always dwell in the past. It will consume me if I continue on like this. I now have a much better life to be honest. A year ago, I had an excuse to be angry and sad but now, I need to just move on.

Well, things are not exactly that great yet. Yes I got into the National University of Singapore but there is always a void in my heart that needs filling. I have found someone to do that but lately, there has been difficulties I suppose. It is depressing sometimes to not be able to be there and do the things only I am allowed to think about. The thought of wrapping my arms around that sweet girl is merely, still a fantasy. I know I shouldn't but the human heart works in ways, even the mind cannot control. But nonetheless, I hate it when I feel powerless, like everything is not in my control. I wish I could do more. I wish I could stop this dream from ending.

There has been positives still this week. Whenever I am troubled in life, I turn to the one thing that always keeps my spirits up; Football, but of course with my lucky charm with me that night, the win was inevitable. =)

Tottenham Hotspurs were to play Manchester City on Thursday morning. It was a pivotal match, with everything at stake. Our great season counts for nothing if we had not won the game. It took 82 minutes for us to finally take the lead in the game. The wait was finally over. I supported Spurs back when I was still a little boy. Now that I am finally going to University, the club I have supported for almost 10 years now, is in the big leagues. We have made it. Its not gonna be easy but its a start. We are finally going to the Champions League!

From left : Crouch, Palacios, Dawson, King, Bale, Huddlestone, Pavlyuchenko, Modric

Somethings Never Leave

Life~

I think, I will have to admit that I really do miss blogging. I try not doing it but there is just no other way I can let out whatever that is trapped inside me. I am happy, I cannot lie but then there are always things out there that are out to get me, cut me down when im high.

I'm not saying that its unfair that my life have problems. Everyone have their own problems but I sometimes I feel that I can't take it. I feel like getting away. Leaving everything behind. Problem is, I use to think that if I work hard, leave the country and go somewhere new, I would have a new start but I dont know why I can't see it. I just can't see it.

Recently, I just got accepted to a university in Singapore. It was my goal, my dream and I finally got it but now that I got it, I don't feel any happier. I still feel that there is still something I need to do to kill my demons. My past haunts me still. I still cannot let go of my friends. I was once filled with anger, rage and hate. What they did to me, I will never accept. I was forced to accept a fate that I never wanted. What I am saying isn't very clear so don't ask what do I really mean. I never wanted anyone to read my posts anyway.

I have been thinking about deleting my facebook account. Sounds kind of stupid I guess, as in I am sure everyone expects something more dramatic then deleting my facebook account but I really do think that doing that can really ease my pain. I don't know if I should or not.

As for my friends, that f*cked me months ago, I really hope you guys are proud of yourselves. I will never forget what you guys did to me. "Taking sides", you guys think its all about that. I guess I was the only one stupid enough to hold on to you guys. At the end of it all, you guys were blinded and you guys never looked back at what brought us together in the first place. I am always the one being the bigger man. I am always the one taking the bullets. I am always the one to be sacrificed so that you guys can have a better time and I was stupid enough to tolerate.

I wish it would all just go away. I wish I could just finally find a place that I could belong again. I wish there was just not so many complications anymore. I cannot take complications anymore. I don't want to always wait for something to happen. I don't want to be the nice guy that always finishes last. I just want to finish.

cyen/tristan

I Was a Drifter

Life~

I've said it over, and over again. Nobody wants to hear bout it anymore but I'll just repeat it just this one last time. Last year was shite when I found out that I was double-crossed, lied to and neglected. Hey, I am a sensitive guy so yeah it sucks! So after that, I chose to be the bigger man and just forget about all that. Its not easy of course. Everywhere I go or anyone I talk to, reminds me of what had happened. It was a difficult period of my life but I was glad that I did not have any big responsibilities at that time. STPM was over and all I had to do was just to wait for my results. Came results day, I got 2 As and 2 Bs. I was pleased, it was exactly what I aimed for. That was the first sign of the good things that were about to come. =D

Love. I hated talking bout it. I was one of those "nice guys" that could never find a break or someone to lean on. I was the type of guy where people come to me for help but when everything is going great for them, they just leave me. I'm cool with that. I used to expect something in return but eventually I was used to it and did not expect anything anymore.

Then I met this girl. She was, a mess I have to admit. Haha! If you're reading this, I mean what I said in a good way kay. She needed to be rescued. She was trapped in a whirlwind of emotions. I went through that phase before but of course they were not the same, but still a whirlwind nonetheless. We spoke, laughed and even had some sad moments. After months of getting to know her a bit more, I started to feel something I have not felt for a very VERY long time.

I have not done this in a long time too, writing about a girl. Haha, the last time I did that, umm..well it didnt turn out so well. Haha but that was many years ago. So okay, this girl. She is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Her smile is sho shweet. Her hair looks adorable! Well, she changed it recently but still its as cute as ever. Lol. *coughs*. Okay, that was rather childish don't you think?

Anyways, this girl. She is really great and I am just glad with what we are right now. We are not rushing into things so its good for both of us. Both of us have our things to do and plans to complete so there is really no point going official or anything of that sort. She is an awesome companion and I dare say I am the same to her. Hehe.

I was a drifter. I wandered around looking for somewhere to belong and thanks to this wonderful girl, I can finally put my drifting days to bed. With her hand stretched out to mine, I just cant wait to grab hold of it and never let go. =)

cyen/tristan - is this it? I sure hope so.

New Chapter

Life~

Well actually, the new chapter have already started a long time ago. I was just lazy to write anything on my blog. Never saw why I should. Well, here is a simple summary of what I have done eversince my last Singapore trip.

I went back to Singapore again. Lol. This time to hand in some of the supporting documents that I am asked to hand in to the Universities i applied to. I also visited Universities on this trip. Hung out quite a lot with Eiven. This time we went there together so it was really awesome, a real adventure.

Besides that, I just gamed a lot when I was back in Penang. Nothing much. Didn't even go out much. Oh yeah, I had an awesome birthday party! Kiatisak, Carissa, Hui Min, Penny and Siew Mon celebrated with me. They took me to Redbox and we had a blast! Kiatisak tried to seduce me a few times but I was not interested. I think he needs to get his gay problem checked. LOL. We had Nando's for dinner! Woah, it was fun alrite. After that we went to Bed to chill. We took may pictures too! I can't remember the last time I laughed so much but that was the day. I had a lot of fun! =D

Besides that, I've also started to play football a lot more now. Every Monday or Tuesday night, I would join Kiatisak and his friends for Futsal. Its a 5 v 5 game every week and I swear as the week gets by, I am starting to feel fitter and fitter. Its been SO long since I rand, jumped and kicked so much so this is really a great opportunity for me to do it all again. RM10 per week sounds like a good deal too. I was also able to play against a lot of very very good players. Haha.

This is the boring part actually, the cool part of my happy happy new chapter comes in the next post! =DD

cyen/tristan

Happier Days And The Rainy Days

Life~

I got back from Singapore yesterday. 2nd January til 17th January was so awesome. It sounds like a pretty long period but now that I think of it, its not that long. I wished I could stay longer. Not that Penang is lousy or anything. I love Penang, my house and the people living in my house(Mum and Dad). But my time at Singapore was like a breath of fresh air, literally. I was choking so much in Penang for the past year, I could feel myself losing my grip. That 2 week stay with my brothers finally made me happy, genuinely for the first time after months. I can just be who I am and not fake anything. Not that I fake much in life considering how expressive I can be.

But anyways, Singapore is really great. I expected things to be weird and I bet I would miss home but heck, I didn't even miss Penang. Not one bit. Of course I miss my mum and dad constantly nagging me but other than that, I don't think I missed out much. Back in Penang I would stay at home and do nothing. Maybe if my friends finally decide to ask me out then I would join them in any of their whacky adventures. But that isn't missed. In Singapore I still have a few friends and its great to hang out with them. On my 2nd day in Singapore, Yik Sean and Andrew took me out. We ended up walking the entire night. We covered so much ground that it almost looked like we were on a marathon instead of sight-seeing. But it was fun, except for the end when I panicked a bit cuz I didn't know how to get back but Andrew, being a good friend helped me find my way back. Awesome.

Other than that, I visited malls, and malls and malls. Shopped for clothes. Did laundry and other chores for my brothers. So basically, I was like cheap labor. Heh. Besides going out with buddies and doing daily quests (chores) for my brothers, I enjoyed every second of the superb internet connection. The internet connection is awesome and it almost never lags. There is Wi-Fi almost everywhere in Singapore. Another interesting about Singapore is that it will never run out of shopping malls. The malls here are like mushrooms. Popping out in every single possible space in the city. If you don't see shopping malls in Singapore then, well you're not in Singapore.

However, like all good things, my trip had to end but I think it was capped off nicely with a trip to Sentosa with my brother. Its always awesome to spend time with a family member and it was nice of my brother to take me out and doing crazy things together. Haha.
Rainy days are unavoidable, inevitable but not forgettable. I can still remember. Back in my schooling days, because of the timid and immature school rivalries between PFS, CLHS and SXI, there was always so much hate between the schools. The hate was so intense that sometimes they want each other dead. Many claim that they were only joking and I have to admit, it was fun making jokes of the other schools and discussing how lame those other schools are. How they try so much and being someone they are not while they do and say the same about us Frees. I personally don't know why there is so much negativity between the schools but there always is. The tension is always there when two parties meet. Maybe its the way we were brought up and maybe it is the way they are brought up.

But recently, a tragical incident took place. This is the perfect example of "Its all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye". Sadly, we could all only hope that it was as simple as that. I am sure everyone would have taken the option of losing an eye than losing several lives. I just got back from Singapore yesterday and I met up with Tze Lun today. He told me of the tragical incident involving a group of CLHS students, drowned during dragon boat practice. Being an ignorant person, I did not proceed to investigate or find out more on the incident and I never liked reading about tragic events. I never liked having to know that people died. No one deserves to die but I believe that when the time comes, not even Superman can do anything about it. We used to joke about it. Making fun of each other and cursing each other. I'm not saying all PFS, CLHS and SXI students are like that but there are ALWAYS a group or two that channels this negative energy to the rest of the student body.

It is a very horrible thing to happen. No one deserves to die but now that the accident has happened, the only thing we can all do is just sit down, take a deep breath, smile and reflect on how well our lives have been. Remember that the parents of the victims would have done anything to have their sons breath again so be thankful that we are still alive. To those that are still alive but always wanting to die, think again. Playing god isn't cool. No one is suppose to have the power to decide who lives and who dies.

cyen/tristan

2009 Was Fun, Don't Ya Think So?

Life~

Okeh, finally 2009 has come to a close. I swear, exactly a YEAR ago, I thought 2010 would never come. But come to think of it, it wasn't very long ago. It felt like just yesterday I was fearing for my STPM and hardly clinging on to many people and things I held dear. It sounded like I had a horrible year last year but actually it was not that bad. Yea sure, some of my close buddies had to leave for their studies but when they had their breaks at least they were back and it was always nice to hang out or just sit a and reminisce. Haha.

In 2009, I officially became the Deputy Head Boy of my school. 6 years ago, when I first started out high school, I could not see this coming. Back in 2003, when I was just 13 I have to admit, I was really impressed with how the seniors of the school so I hope I left a good impression on the little kids of my school during my term as a deputy head boy or the Deputy School Captain. I didn't do much but it was fun while it lasted but I think whenever my School Captain needed my help, I was ready to lend a hand.

Besides that, I officially retired from scouting. Some of my friends retired a couple of years back but because I went back for form 6 I had to participate for another full year. If you ask me, I think I ended my term on a high. I have ALWAYS wanted to organise a camp differently. To me, I had to change people's view on camps as an activity that gives more than it takes. For many years now, Camps gave everyone memories but all of this came with a price, literally. During Traplex 08', me and my board of excos did well to slash the cost on organizing a camp. Many criticised it to be a fun camp and we were too lenient on the campers. Well, that was exactly what I want for my camp. No one is suppose to suffer and the only thing I want to see from my campers is to smile, smile and SMILE. NO ASSL in my scout troop is as down to earth as I am and that is something I am very proud of.

Sports, I was not an exceptional sportsman but I could run and I could jump. Compared to the rest of the jocks in my school, I am probably the lousiest. Haha. As the Captain of the Cheeseman Sports house, I am proud to say that I have exceeded expectations. If it wasn't for my brilliant board of committees I would not have gone so far. We had a rough start, finishing at the bottom during the Cross Country but we picked up the momentum from the next few events. There even came a point of time when we were challenging the top 2 houses for the top 2 spot but it was only for a brief moment. Haha, but it was a GOOD brief moment. Whenever it comes to Cheeseman, I get real excited because I had a really good run with the house. Started out as a normal member. I moved up to an "acceptable" athlete. Later on, I got promoted to Tent decorations then next was House mascot. I designed the mascot and wore the suit for my house. =D In 2006 I was the volleyball captain for my House. In 2008 I was made the House captain and finally capped off my days as a proud Cheese'man' by carrying the Cheeseman flag during Sports Day. Hehe. =D

Friends. This is a pretty controversial topic to talk about but after 2009, I know who is really good to me and who isn't. I had some really really good times with the boys. The girls were good to me too. People like Gaik Lyn, Seok Woen and Han Lyn has always been so nice to me. Yuh Ting, yes she might be a bit pelik sometimes but I think shes a really nice person and I am proud to have her a friend. Pei Qi might be a childish but hey thats what everyone likes for right? Lol. Ting En has been supportive and being a year older than me, I sometimes look up to her and you would be surprised with the amount I picked up from having simple conversations with her. And to all my classmates, you guys are one of the coolest bunch I've ever met. Never thought I would say that but hey, you guys are actually REALLY cool! Lol! I am not gonna talk so much bout the guys, to cap it off, the guys have been rather 'disappointing' this year. I just cannot tolerate ignorance. But there are still those that I know are genuinely nice people.

The sad parts of 2009 is pretty much too actually but I think stuff like that is forgettable. I had one of my best friends stab me and I had my other friends just ignoring the horrible truth and chose to just sit and do nothing. I have already learned to let that go and not hold grudges because at the end of the day, nobody wins. Sucks huh? but I think lifes not about who is right and who is wrong. People do shit all the time and we just gotta look beyond the shit and I know, it wont be as horrible as I initially think it to be.

Ah, I can't think of anymore sad parts of 2009, STPM stress? I guess thats another. Haha. Stress from crappy Sports house and Scouting matters. Yeah that isn't a walk in the park too. But the year is finally over and I just hope 2010 will be a much more happier year for me. I'm not saying 2009 is hella sad, but I just want it to be happier. Enough of drama. Smooth sailing from today onwards and Im'ma smile more. =D

cyen/tristan - Heres to another awesome year.

Untalkative Bunny

Art~

This show rocks.

cyen/tristan

The End Is Coming

Life~

Today I had a very meaningful chat with a close bud. I realize that all this while I have been really childish and the only thing I should do now is to end what I created in the first place. No one is going to do it so I will make the first move. I cannot stop what is happening but at least after I pull myself out from the mess I can finally have some peace.

I realize now that I cannot rely on anyone to settle my problems and the only way to settle them is to end it myself.

Things have become very complicated of late. I for one, tried silencing the problem and tried ignoring it but I know now that if I continue to ignore this problem, everyone around will just suffer for my wrong doings. Yes, they stab me, they refuse to take sides but I am after all, a friend and it will be my responsibility and possibly my last one before I move to the next part of my life. It has been very hard for the past few years but now I think I can finally see how things work in life. A little slow but the most important thing is that I finally get it now.

After all, it is a known fact that when a problem arises, nobody wants to be in the wrong. No one wants to be blamed. I don't. So does everyone else. But this thing has been going on long enough that it isn't funny anymore, its just annoying and the people involved are just equally as annoying.

The end is coming. When it comes I don't know what will happen but I don't think it will be pretty but oh what the heck, someones gonna do or say something right? Life is already a challenge so why make it any easier? I use to think that it is important for people to know me as the good guy, well I still think that but its not that important if you want to be right. As long as I know I am right, I don't mind being the bad guy. Anyways, I am already the villain in this story, so for someone that loves acting and role playing, it is just about time I gave my best performance and finish up the show. Who knows, I might get nominated for the Best Villain of the year! or at least for the past 4 years. Haha!

cyen/tristan